Anxiety

The Anxious Thoughts Workbook by David A. Clark, PhD is a unique approach worth examining.

Things Might Go Terribly, Horribly Wrong by Kelly Wilson and Troy DuFrene explains how to use the principles of Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) to cope with anxiety.

Attachment

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sue Johnson EdD could also go into the relationships section. Dr. Johnson is a leader in the development of Emotion-Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) and does a great job of explaining how early attachment wounds and childhood trauma affect adults.

The Developing Mind by Daniel Siegel is an accessible reader on the last two decades of research on attachment and self-development.

Attached: Are you Anxious, Avoidant or Secure? How the science of adult attachment can help you find – and keep – love by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller, M.A. provides a good overview of varying attachment styles, case studies, and guides to identifying how you can improve relationships based on your style.

Attention, Focus & ADHD

Taking Charge of ADHD by Dr. Russell Barkley is a book I recommend over and over to caregivers wanting information on the nature and treatment of ADHD. It is thorough, practical and the product of his decades of research and work with families. Dr. Russell also has an amazing Youtube channel on the subject.

ADHD 2.0 by Dr. Edward Hallowell and Dr. John Ratey is a roadmap for living with a distractible brain or parenting someone with ADHD. The tone of this book is reassuring and personal.

What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew by Dr. Sharon Saline offers examples, exercises and techniques to help parents support their kids with ADHD and maintain a positive relationship.

Boundaries

The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker is a wonderful book. It’s DeBecker’s own post-traumatic growth story, which can be inspiring. Equally as important, it’s permission to listen to yourself and your inner warning signs.

Blind to Betrayal by Freyd, Jennifer, & Birrell, Pam is a thoughtful analysis of how our early experiences can teach us to ignore betrayal and violation. Essential understanding for boundary development.

How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To by Dr. Janis Abrams is all in the title. This is under boundaries because I see forgiveness or non-forgiveness as a component of boundary development. Spring does a nice job of exploring the complexities of the forgiveness issue, and is not dogmatic in any direction about what a betrayed person should do. Like her other work, more focused on forgiveness after an affair, but applicable to the issues for many survivors

The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations for Codependents by Melody Beattie is a daily reader for people who struggle with codependency. Melody is a foundational voice in the world of codependency support and her meditations are brief maternal check-ins for codependents on-the-go.

The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. is written for people socialized as women to examine how they can give attention to and respect their anger.

Death and Dying

American Association of Suicidology’s Survivor Page is a web resource is one of the best for survivors of suicide. Maintained by the AAS, which is the home for research and treatment in the field of suicide, it offers links to support groups and a list of publications reviewed and recommended by AAS, as well as an on-line newsletter for suicide survivors.

Mourning & Mitzvah by Rabbi Anne Brener, LCSW  is written from the Jewish perspective on how to create rituals for grieving that could be adapted and applied by anyone.

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion is a memoir of loss. I include it here because it is the most emotionally honest book I’ve ever read about the experience of bereavement.

Healing Into Life and Death by Stephen Levine is a book by someone who has worked for decades with people in the midst of dying. His work has been foundational to my understanding of death and grief.

Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief by Martha Whitmore Hickman is a daily reader for those experiencing grief and loss. Although I usually wouldn’t advise giving a book to someone in grief, this is one I’ll humbly deliver. Simple and brief for those all along the spectrum of engaging with grief consciously. 

Emotional Maturity

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl is considered  to be one of the greatest books of our time. It is part survival literature, part meditation on humanity/ community. It is a dive into emotional maturity and contextualizing suffering.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is another book surrounding maturity based on ancient Toltec wisdom. It looks at how self-limiting beliefs impact access to joy, freedom, love.

For Small Creatures Such as We: Rituals for Finding Meaning in Our Unlikely World by Sasha Sagan, Daughter of Carl Sagan, is a collection of essays on finding beauty in the natural world and creating your own orienting rituals.

High Creativity

The Inner Game of Music by Barry Green and W. Timothy Gallweyis a book that followed Gallwey’s first ‘Inner Game’ book on sports performance in tennis. This book looks at mechanisms at the root of performance anxiety to help musicians overcome obstacles, improve concentration, and reduce nervousness, allowing them to reach new levels of joy in performance and artistry.

The Alchemy of Us: How Humans and Matter Transformed One Another by Ainissa Ramirez is a book of inclusive stories about inventors and the progression of technologies like clocks, light bulbs, steel rails. An inspiring look at the cultural value of imagination, determination, and divergent thinking.

The Book of Symbols: Reflections on Archetypal Images by The Archive for Research in Archetypal Symbolism contains essays by writers from the fields of psychology, religion, art, literature, and comparative myth that thoughtfully explore symbols from all parts of the world and all eras of history. Great book for feeling blocked.

High Sensitivity

The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine Aron, Ph.D. is a wonderful book giving insights into arousal and framing for overwhelming sensory experiences. I’ll leave this endorsement here: “To say this book changed my life would be an understatement. I am forever grateful to Elaine Aron.”—Alanis Morissette

LGBTQIA+

Providing resources and support to queer, gender nonconforming, nonbinary people and their families is a focal point of my practice and mission. Please see my LGBTQIA+ page for further reading, resources, research.

Trans Bodies, Trans Selves: A Resource by and for Transgender Communities by Dr. Laura Erickson-Schroth is a collective knowledge base from dozens of influential experts.

Health Across the Gender Spectrum- If you're a caregiver wanting to gain insight into gender and supporting positive mental health outcomes AND love the format of a course. This free one from Stanford is for you.

Transgender History by Susan Stryker is an academic but readable account tracing trans history from mid-twentieth century to 2017.

A Queer History of the United States by Michael Bronski is the first book to cover the entirety of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender history, from pre-1492 to the present. For the history buffs and those with an interest in a wider account of all non heteronormative behavior in the United States.

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin belongs just as much in the sci-fi category but I have it here because the book’s setting is a world without sexual prejudice in which gender is fluid. A strange and beautiful examination of some of these ideas and how they would perhaps play out.

Neurodivergence

Mastering Your Adult ADHD: A Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment Program, Client Workbook by Safren, Sprich, Perlman, Otto is a workbook with empirically supported CBT treatment strategies for adults with ADHD.

Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder by Dr. Gabor Maté discusses attention deficit as environmental stress and offers ideas about development of emotional regulation and attention control.

Divergent Mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn't Designed for You by Jenara Nerenberg is a beautiful examination of the gifting of divergent minds to society.

Parenting

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Farber and Elaine Mazlish is about effective grown-up-to-kid communication.

Mindfulness for Parents by Amber Hatch explains how to incorporate mindfulness principles while raising children.

Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman and Joan Declaire is an important resource for anyone involved in raising children or caretaking for them.

Perinatal, Prenatal & Postpartum

If you are in the perinatal period and need support, please look at these online support groups through Postpartum Support International. They have groups for a wide spectrum of folks (fertility challenges, Dad’s, loss, mood support, queer and trans parents, substance use, BIPOC birthing people, and so on) and are ongoing and free. They also have an amazing HelpLine you can call or text for basic info and support.

Confessions of the Other Mother: Nonbiological Lesbian Moms Tell All by Harlyn Aizley is a much-needed collection of stories from the nonbirthing lesbian parent that aims to give others a framework to understand their unique experiences.

Journey to Same Sex Parenthood by Rice Rosswood has advice, stories and tips for same-sex family planning.

Why Did No One Tell Me This? by Natalia Hailes is a great book for for first timers with support from a professional doula on concerns commonly experienced by expectant parents.

Queer Conception by Liam Kali is the most inclusive and comprehensive guide I’ve encountered for queer families planning. It includes advice on creating timelines, fertility health, testing, donors and surrogacy, insemination methods, miscarriage and infertility. Liam also runs an amazing collective called Maia Midwifery. They offer services to anyone in the US, and are able to conduct home IUI for families in Seattle.

The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin is required reading for most in doula training and a great resource for anyone acting as a companion or partner to a birthing parent. The most updated edition uses inclusive language for our incredible LGBTQ+ families which is a much needed and appreciated content revision.

Like a Mother by Angela Garbes is a science and physiology book on pregnancy that is a welcome addition to pregnancy culture. A great read!

Expecting Better and Cribsheet by Emily Oster are books from an economist providing data-driven guides to pregnancy and the first few years. Her books are informative, fun, and cheeky. Very worth the read in my opinion! Emily has an organization called Parent Data that works to provide evidence based, up-to-date information to empower families to make the best decisions for themselves. I enjoy her mailing list.

Physical Health

Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker, Ph.D. is a great book for educating yourself on the importance of sleep and prioritizing it accordingly.

The Body: A Guide for Occupants by Bill Bryson is a fun jaunt through the vastness and miraculous nature of the human body. In my mind, health begins with wonder.

Relationships and Relationship Patterns

Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment by Gay Hendricks, Ph.D. & Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D.is a book by a married couple and long-time couples’ therapists that shows how to address unconscious patterns causing issues in relationships. Great for practical skill development to deepen relational maturity and capacity for individual freedom, pleasure, etc.

Getting the Love You Want by Hendrix Harville, Ph.D. explores how childhood patterns lead to problematic adult attachments. The author also offers a series of exercises that couples can do on their own to heal those patterns.

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom is a treasure-trove of a website by counselor Al Turtle. It has a number of articles on peace building, establishing desirable levels of space and closeness, what leads relationships to end and how to get to the good stuff.

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg is a great book for those finding themselves in cyclical patterns of nonproductive misunderstanding and conflict with others.

Science Fiction

Ficciones by Jorge Luis Borges is a short story collection that is strange, inventive and fantastic.

Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang is my favorite short story collection. “Story of Your Life” was made into a movie called Arrival.

Her Body and Other Parties: Stories by Carmen Maria Machado is a beautiful collection of psychological, queer, horror, fantasy sci-fi stories.

Sexual Health 

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, PhD explains the concept of "responsive desire" and how it impacts cis women's sexuality, but is applicable to all genders and is really validating for everyone who worries about their "sex drive".

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver is not just about marriage, and not even really just about romantic relationships! It's about habits and ways of relating that get in the way of healthy relationships, and how to change them.

More Than Two by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert is a handbook for anyone interested in consensual non-monogamy.

The Jealousy Workbook: Exercises and Insights for Managing Open Relationships by Kathy Labriola is a collection of techniques and exercises that help people understand and manage their experience of jealousy. Kathy is a counselor and nurse with extensive experience assisting people who are choosing non-normative relationships with the challenges that can arise.

Substance Use

SMART Recovery is an evidence-based, secular alternative to AA and other traditional 12-step groups. They have in-person meetings in many cities as well as online groups.

In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Dr. Gabor Maté is a moving, debate-provoking, compassionate look at how addiction comes to arise and human connection as treatment.

The Mindfulness Workbook for Addiction: A Guide to Coping with the Grief, Stress and Anger that Trigger Addictive Behaviors by Rebecca E. Williams PhD & Julie S. Kraft MA is a workbook that utilizes multiple mindfulness modalities to treat the emotion dysregulation, stress, depression, and grief that lie at the heart of addiction.

Chasing the Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs by Johann Hari is a journalistic approach to the war on drugs, traditional concepts of addiction, and connection as the opposite of addiction.

Motivational Interviewing: Helping People Change by William Miller and Stephen Rollnick could be in any of these categories but is a useful book to get thinking about change in all its stages and how to be curious and kind with yourself about your ambivalence.

Trauma & Abuse

Beacon House Trauma Resources for Children- This is an amazing collection of practical resources for regulation and resilience for children and families developing their knowledge about healing from trauma.

The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist's Notebook by Dr. Bruce Perry is a collection of stories from a world-class scientist and therapist about childhood trauma and transformation.

The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass has been in publication since 1988 and is still a very relevant guide for adult cisgender women who have survived sexual abuse. This book is one of best resources for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. People of other genders may find it helpful too.

The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller is essential reading for people whose experience was of emotional abuse or exploitation by a caregiver. Miller has a number of other, longer books, but this short volume is a must-read.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Dr. Lindsay Gibson is great. The title says it all.

Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Dr. Karyl McBride helps people recognize their own experience with maternal narcissism and how to enhance your sense of self for these adults. This book caters to cis women but also may be helpful for non-cis folks raised with maternal narcissism. 

Getting Past Your Past by Dr. Francine Shapiro is the first self-help book by the inventor of EMDR. Full of ideas based in that trauma treatment about how to heal from trauma. If you’ve been interested in this modality, this book is a good place to start.

David Baldwin’s trauma pages is an amazingly thorough resource about trauma maintained by an expert in trauma research and treatment. For me, the website design itself is also amazing.

Ken Pope’s website is an exhaustive list of materials on trauma, ethics, assessment and much more. For me, the website design itself is also amazing.

Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine, founder of Somatic Experiencing, is an exploration of the symptoms of trauma, how we react to overwhelming experience, and new pathways to healing. If you’ve been interested in this modality, this book is a good place to start.

Zines/ Leaflets

Dr. Faith G. Harper, LPC-S, ACS, ACN is a licensed professional counselor, board supervisor, and certified sexologist with a practice in Texas.  She has several books that have been popular on subjects like anxiety, depression, and boundaries.

Fiddler's Green Zines is a collective offering resources for ‘Tea-Drinking Anarchists, Convivial Conjurors & Closeted Optimists.’  These leaflets use elements of myth, magic, folklore, and humor to help people navigate everyday life. Perfect for those of you like a little olde-worlde with their self-help.